Geodesic Logo

Rectangle Rectangle Rectangle Rectangle Rectangle Default

Phil Symons

Pegleg Percy and the Children's Book of Pyrates

By Phil Symons

ISBN: 978-0-9560763-0-4
Binding: Paperback
Extent: 338 Pages
RRP: £7.99
Available: October 2008

A hilarious fantasy in the best traditions of Terry Pratchett.

[We do not recommend this book for young children]

Read the first chapter here!

Buy from most good bookstores, include Waterstone's, or from Waterstone's Online
For our American readers, it will shortly be available at

Questions, questions...

There are many facing an aspiring pirate.  What, for example, is the correct etiquette for walking the plank, and is burial really the most efficient way to hide treasure or dirty laundry?  Puzzles indeed, and for Percy his quest for the answers is hindered only by his squeamishness, politeness, and of course, the day job.

But when he accidentally finds himself to be the most notorious pirate on the high seas and in possession of one of the most mysterious and valuable treasures in all the Heinish Islands, only one question remains; how should he return it to its rightful owner?

The search for the answer brings chaos and lunacy rivalled only by the exploits of the legendary Orange Beard the ‘Orrific.  Yet, even when things seem to be at their darkest, when the storms are closing in, and when all the world is against you, advice can always be found in the Children’s Book of Pyrates.

Some of the suspects in our tale:


Amiable and slightly deluded, Percy would never hurt a fly, faints at the sight of blood, and is scared of parrots.  All problems since he aspires to Pirate notoriety, as described in his cherished copy of "The Children's Book of Pyrates".  Yet despite this he holds the loyalty and respect of the crew of his merchant ship, The Jolly Barbara.  They would follow him anywhere, even into hell to return a lost wallet.


Polly is Percy's constant doggy companion and defender.  Tiny Polly is suspicious of all and shirks from no man.  Perched on Percy's shoulder and crunching the odd cracker, Polly believes he is a parrot.


Percy’s closest friend, Richard is the voice of reason aboard the Jolly Barbara, which is sorely needed.  He tries hard but always seems to end up the short straw, which he takes with a resigned, long-suffering, and courageous air.


Rose brings a woman's touch to Percy's unconventional ship.  Matronly Rose looks after everyone aboard and if things do get out of hand then she is a dab hand with an apple in a stripy sock...

The Bosun

What this venerable seaman doesn't know about knots is not worth knowing.  The Bosun has seen it all and always has a proverb ready to sum up the situation.


A man of few words and a genius with medieval gadgetry, big Midge wields saws and chisels, keeping Percy's ship ship-shape.  The humble Da-Vinci of the age and a man out of his own time, you can always rely on Midge to save the day - as long as wood is involved.

Victor Bottlecrusher

Constant scowling and colourful curses are the trademarks of this gruesome one-eyed pirate.   You never can be sure what he's looking at or what he's up to, but is he really as bad as his piratical image suggests?


Victor's second in command, Raven tries to keep Victor on the straight and narrow - in a manner of speaking.  Some may wonder whether there is more to this sly character than meets the eye...


Villainous Segulis thinks he owns the place, and in fact he probably does.  The trouble with owning the place is that there are always more places around that one could own too.  As the Bosun might say; "Power corrupts, absolute power can be really fun."